A Story Centering Courage

Brandon Isem was a member of the first class of My Story Matters: LISTEN scholarship recipients in 2020. At the time he was a high school junior with an inspiring sense of pride. Like many of us experienced, a combination of the pandemic shutdowns and being thrust into a new environment challenged his sense of self and brought an opportunity to strengthen his own courageous resilience. 

After receiving the PLUS ME award, Brandon felt he had the confidence to apply to many different colleges. He was accepted into three amazing schools and I decided to go to Claremont Mckenna College. 

“That was when my first experience with imposter syndrome began. Being surrounded by smart, intelligent people who worked really hard throughout their lives made me wonder how much effort I have put in and I started to quantify that–which was a big mistake. I wasn’t able to understand certain materials but I was working just as hard. Seeing my peers doing so much better than me made me think, ‘Oh, maybe I was a mistake or a diversity acceptance.’ I started to not care, and was ok with “C” grades. It wasn’t the healthiest mentality; I sort of gave up on myself for a moment.”

As is often the case, listening to the stories of his new classmates and speaking with his own loved ones helped Brandon reframe his own story in that moment. 

“Thinking, reflecting, and speaking to friends and family helped me be honest with myself about who I was. I didn’t want to look at every peer as a competition or constantly calculate how and why they got accepted. It took almost a year. Finally, I understood that the gaps between me and my classmates were not my fault and should not have bearing on what other people think of me. They had other opportunities like going to private school, international boarding schools, more APs, etc. They also don’t know my experience of being an undocumented student who had to say no to many opportunities, including school travel. I realized they have other struggles, like family pressure that I didn’t feel. My parents really supported me, they’re really proud of me no matter what I do. Talking to them made me happy and helped me get through the imposter syndrome. My courage comes from what I’ve done and what I felt proud to have achieved.”

This new definition of value Brandon established on his own terms helped his life, holistically. It eased outside pressure and helped him find new parts of life outside of school that make his life feel full and meaningful.  

“After this revelation, my academics improved and I felt like I could speak with people normally again. Most importantly, I felt relieved understanding that there are things I can’t control but despite that I‘m still going to move forward giving the best I can without comparing myself to others academically–there are other things. Recently, I’ve been getting more into the arts. For a moment, I had neglected them because I didn’t think it was going to be profitable in my life as a first-generation college student. Then, I realized it’s not about profitability. I realized academics are one thing, but there is definitely more to life.”

It was so heartening to hear that some of the foundation that allowed Brandon to find this new definition and source of courage that continues to propel him forward was rooted in his experience with PLUS ME. Practice and encouragement understanding life on his own terms, by his own values, is a key part of story building at our organization. That base helped give Brandon the practice of empathetically putting different experiences into perspective while making meaning of his own. 

“I don’t think I can emphasize how much PLUS ME actually affected me. Everything I write (from cover letters to applications) all derives from the style or remnants of my PLUS ME story. I always use it as a reference because it was the moment when I spoke out the most with my heart put into it.”